Mother’s Day for
some is just another day…a day that does not have any significance whatsoever. For
some it has the same effect as Christmas Day does for a Jehovah’s Witness: not
respected…unacknowledged. The day no matter what date it falls on in spring’s
most pollen-heavy month carries no emotional connotation or feelings of
gratitude for some. Surprisingly, for some men and women Mother’s Day is the
most inconsequential day of the 365 days.
When I became aware
of this, when I discovered that a number of mothers are not praised on Mother’s
Day, when I witnessed this disturbing attitude primarily from females - and
then finally believing that this disposition is a reality I still had
difficulty understanding that someone’s Mother’s Day sentiment was completely
different from my romanticized feelings
of the day Mothers are to be recognized for not only birthing and rearing
children – but for the vast sacrifices that are made to be a Mom. Right?
My experience with
Mother’s Day and my devoted connection to my mother conjure thoughts of appreciation,
honor and respect. My mother is the best
mom! I am certain thousands have the same opinion of their mother. So, I am
in good company…I am amongst a large group that anticipates Mother’s Day.
Thankfully, I am not in the midst of too many unfortunates who harbor
unpleasant thoughts of a MMIA, Mother Missing in Action. Actually, how does
MMIA become a truth?
Sadly, over the
years I have been associated with women who don’t know their mother: “I have no
idea who she is…I have never met her.” Regrettably, I have been involved with
women who have not spoken to their mother for a while: “I am not sure when the
last time I spoke to her. It may have been 3 years now. Not sure. Doesn’t
matter anyway.”
Unfortunately, I have unknowingly been in serious relationship
with women who later informed me that their mother abandoned them when they
were a child: “One morning my siblings and I woke-up to no mother. She left us
for about a year on two different occasions.” Disappointingly, I have been by
default an unlicensed counselor for several women who have horrible mother to
daughter communications: “I don’t like to talk to her…we are estranged.”
In all the
relationships described above there was/is significant conflict; that's
apparent. There were also serious complications between the females and myself.
Needless to say, the dealings…connections were severed once I was
informed by the female that her mother to daughter…parent to child association
was in a deflated state or was non-existence. I eventually bounced…left the
relationship with this thought process in mind:
Any girl/woman who has a volatile
relationship with her mother is not a good match for me or any man who has a
good relationship with his mother. This female has serious issues…she’s
damaged.
What was I to
think/believe considering my mother and I have evolved from parent to child to
confidants? Without fail or delay, we talk every morning! Of course, we had our
share of conflicts when I was of middle and high school age. That was to be
expected. But, there was nothing beyond this type of hormonal-laden tiffs…I
bucked-up at mom occasionally, and then coward-down repeatedly when she slapped
me across my big head. It was that simple. Nothing more, nothing less. She’s my
mother!
Who in their right
mind curses…disrespects…demeans…embarrasses…talks down to their mother? I
cannot comprehend this modus operandi. What I do know is that there has to be
some form of healing. Forgiveness must be considered, and later put into
practice. There has to be a meeting…a series of conversations that project genuineness.
Then mom has to be acknowledged as the Giver of Life.
Besides, who wants
to leave this earth without rekindling, reconciling with Mom?
If you are the child
without warm thoughts of mom on this glorious Mother’s Day you are not at
peace. No matter the situation…no matter what was said in argument…regardless
of your discontent with mom you need to be healed. Take the first step. Be not
one of the For Some.
Trying to Touch
