In the Midst of Mistake…Construct

There is no reason for us to be preoccupied with what people are going to think/will think considering most lives are emotionally and spiritually embattled and are frequently plagued by Mistake.

We (humans) are subject to constructing a decision that will challenge us to either rectify our lives or permanently live with what we have created which more than likely is a result of living in a world that tempts man and woman.

Some of the temptations that we face can easily be denied - but there are some enticements that we as humans have not refused or rebuked: 

  

Many of us have lived lives that are full of mistake - and filled with Falling because of decisions that are plagued by our envy, lust, pride, anger, greed, sloth, and gluttony.

We are a fleshy people that respond to what makes us feel good. And, we have to admit that feeling good is a persistent yearning that gives Life and encourages man/woman to live without inhibition…to be 

  

We are here to live...to multiply...to advance...to conqueror...to move ahead and move on without a price tag! That movement is forward, not backwards.

So, why not enjoy life with a Mistake? Why not seize each and every opportunity to achieve and fail for your future?

The faster we fail, the more we gain and learn. Let's learn from Mistake - and honor Mistake for what it is:

Living

Living as if your life is one big mistake!

Ultimately, we must be what and who we are while making Mistakes. That who you are - is waiting on you and I to be fully IN-vested in how we Respond.

I am responding - and I don't give a damn what will be said about my decisions.

Be of good cheer and spirit in the midst of Mistake.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -George Bernard Shaw

Paths Do Not Cross Paths Meet

I needed to read this today (link below). Remarkable. It is amazing how paths DO NOT CROSS they MEET. To cross indicates ‘a pass by’…Dr. Durley’s CONTINUED path moved him in the direction of service, and now he serves as a beacon of motivation. Thank you, Dr. Durley.

http://littleblackvillage.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/little-black-village-presents-community-service-with-dr-gerald-l-durley/#comment-36

 

Wish more African Americans would embrace the value of living and working overseas. The Peace Corps is a DYNAMIC opportunity. I ask myself all the time, 'Who in their right mind would pass up a FREE opportunity?' Is that person you...? If it is you are missing out on meeting -not passing- up with a path that will not only change your life - but the lives of others. Of course, it is a big step to take...joining the Peace Corps, I realize that. It has been the most important step that I have every taken. Would not trade it for anything! And, if Peace Corps is not right for you or you are not in the 'right' place now - contribute to the betterment of humanity in some form...PLEASE.

The World Needs You!

 Who Saved Who

That is imprinted on a bumper sticker I saw a few days ago. The sticker is an image of a dog's paw. 

My dog, Jesse, saved me a year ago. Literally saved me…I did not save her or rescue her from a canine life of misery. I soon learned that after a month. During those welcomed four weeks I was no longer in the bosom of depression. I recall how difficult it was for me to get out of the bed. Even, eating was a challenge which has always been an activity that I have passionately relished when I have been at my lowest emotionally,

Nothing like a Yeah Burger when you are swimming upstream…wondering when life will pay off. Throughout this brief period of hopelessness, I did not resort to pleading and lying to God. We fail to admit it, but we lie to God all the time…lying to God is nothing more or less than lying to yourself! And, my recent adapted assessment of Jesus Christ proved to be insufficient. Nothing worked until Jesse came into my life which further increased my God aberration…My inquisitive and respectable Rage Against God,

Jesse has been with me for a year now. My gracious and super sexy friend Bianca found her in an abandoned foreclosed home. Jesse and her sister were in the steaming hot garage without food and water.

Unlike most human beginnings, Jesse’s initial days on this God-forsaken earth were excessively tough, heartbreaking, and traumatic beyond measure.

Immediately, upon meeting Jesse and hearing Bianca relive Jesse’s tragic abandonment story, I like so many 30 and 40 year olds decided to Save a Dog. Unbeknownst to me, I had no idea that rescuing a dog in the 21^st century is the latest urbanite vogue – and trendy sob story that could possibly get me laid…

But, something else was in store for me. My life in all of its complexity was about to change forever,

Jesse is safe. She has a permanent home. Well, she does if she stops destroying my furniture! Just yesterday, she ripped up my sofa cushions,

A few days before that she literally chewed through my mattress box spring. I did not send her to the dog pound…I still have her…after repeatedly threatening to give her away.

Parting with Jesse is something I cannot do…will not do. She has been loyal even after I crate her during my less…very less frequent nights of entertainment (Jesse gets more of my time than any other female, by the way). Nothing…nobody but my boys will hinder me from reciprocating the love and devotion Jesse has provided.

I needed Jesse last year in June. Life was cruelly tossing me around...no job...no money...no health insurance…no consistent means to support my children. So, when I saw the bumper sticker it hit me; I remembered that I did not save Jesse...She Saved Me,

 Happy Birthday, Jesse!

Touching

Beating Cancer...a long time ago

This Mother's Day is definitely special.

A few months ago the woman who gave me life received a diagnosis that so many women...countless Mothers - get every single day.

Breast cancer - any form of cancer - is serious. The initial shock from a doctor saying, 'You have breast cancer is traumatic. It paralyzes the person on the receiving end...it puts her life in complete perspective. An evaluation of what she has done for her kids flashes…

 

My mother, Mommy Mary, did what she has always done when the diseased information was shared with her. She held onto the altering, not bad, news for weeks before she informed her kids. She didn't care to worry us which is a typical example of a mother that thinks of her kids first. She let us carry on,

My mother is a remarkable lady. She has always endured...sacrificed immensely so her kids could have. When she could not give us what we wanted she made sure we had what we needed…her never-ending love (regardless of our strange adolescent hormones and reckless young adult behavior) - and her relentless giving of the essentials: food, clothing, shelter, morals, and the ability to make nothing out of nothing.

As a matter of fact, this is what mother’s from all walks of life have done for decades…Creating from nothing –and then delivering the Creation to the family. 

I know a lot of people will say on this Mother's Day:

'My mom is the best mom.'

Like you, I believe that with every fiber of my body!

I am nothing without her, and I will continue to be more than something with her. 

Mary Payne Scott like so many moms from that Small Place, Thomasville, North Carolina are warriors. They have beaten so much! Winning in life and defeating cancer!

I asked my mother, "When will you be considered a cancer survivor?"

A few weeks went by...she later called and said, "Brian, a friend of mine who had breast cancer answered your question…FOR ME. My mother’s sister in Pink Defiance continued,

“…I beat cancer the day I was told that I have cancer...I became a Survivor on that very day!"

That's my Mom, she beat breast cancer a long time ago. The crossing of that minor hurdle was achieved when she gave birth to the deceased unnamed twins, Shirley Jean, Brian Eugene, Clinton Tyrone, and Melanie Renee.

Look at yourself...today, Moms:

You are Life.

And, to the numerous moms with child now (carrying the life form) and to the moms who WILL one day soon be a mom: Be of humility on this day. Your creation is coming soon and very soon – and then you will SEE your King or Queen!

 "الله أكبر"

Allahu Akbar...yeah God is Great. God has to be...God made you!

The Toucher

Had a brief conversation with a young man from The Gambia. He has been in the USA for seven years. He graduated from college in North Carolina - Montreat College! Same college my mentor earned a pastoral care credential from. Adain (young man) has a BA International Business with a minor in Marketing. As I type now, he is mopping a floor. While I was listening to him I could sense his appreciation for the opportunities that he has had thus far on his journey in the United States. He was so positive...so upbeat...so pleasant. I was reminded of the fragility of the employment market as I felt his appreciation for LIFE and OPPORTUNITY. I was also reminded of the man I met 3yrs ago that lived in a refugee camp in Rwanda for 2 years. He made it to the US without his siblings. They were killed during the genocide. He is now working for Emory University. The more and more I experience unemployment and limited employment the GREATER APPRECIATION I have for education, hard work, and life. My inspirations have always been men/women who value breathing, living, and WORKING!

A man told me this morning, “Life is not hard if you know how to live. Learn to live..." 

The Touch

Father to Son, a Lesson in Leaves

November 22, 2011

Dear Judah Mordecai,

Fall is my favorite season. The trees sway from side to side. The leaves are bright red, orange, and brown. The red stands out to me because the color red is Power. Its shade is the one element that binds mankind. That element is blood.

You are my blood, Judah Mordecai. 

As the Fall moves to Winter I want you to focus on what makes you a Cooper-Payne. You are a Dual Force that represents the name Cooper and Payne. You are the only one who’s charged with the responsibility to carry on what your mother and I created, Cooper-Payne. You are, Judah…you are the ONE and ONLY!

Only…elevates you to a singular position. You are at the top. It is your mission to represent. Floss…you have to rep da name. 

Do you remember one of the first names I encouraged you to memorize? Say? Speak? I would say, “Your dad’s name is BRIAN E. PAYNE!” And, you would repeat my name back to me. I did not do this in an effort to be arrogant. No…Judah. I did it because I wanted you to understand that your name is all you have. 

Do you remember when we were walking through the cemetery? I challenged you to find two headstones that read, Cooper and Payne. One with Cooper and one with Payne. Even with my assistance we could not find either. Why? We assumed no one was buried at that location of remembrance with those last names. 

I had an intense memory of you last week. I was working outside of my specialized background. Not within my educational and professional training. I was raking leaves so I could purchase a few meals for the week. Here is a picture of the heap I tirelessly piled-up:

Pretty big, right? 

I thought to myself, ‘Judah already knows the value of work he witnessed his mother work a full time job, go to law school full time, and care for a teenager and a preteen.’ 

So, with this letter to you it is only a reminder of how much I love you, how much I want you to bring the two C’s up to B’s…then A’s. You owe your name, Judah Mordecai that, your mother, and me that. I, too, worked full time and completed a Master’s degree at the same time. And, when I was unavailable to you, Judah, please know that your dad has always wanted the best for you even when I could not provide the best. 

I want you to feel what I felt at the end of my time working with those leaves…well, not the physical part…I am still sore from that day of yard WORK. I want you to feel that familiar feeling of accomplishment. You have experienced it before with a football season ending…the most recent football season proved that you are a STAR! Your improvement is outstanding! You also experienced success when you were one of two fourth graders out of at least 75 other fourth graders remaining in a mathematics competition, and the taste of accomplishment got sweeter when you won an award for a science fair project. 

The photograph below was my sense of accomplishment. It is a photo of bags filled with leaves…twenty-one bags. I finished the job, 

 

You do the same Judah Mordecai…finish the job like you did when you wanted to quit playing football that first season of play. I said to you, “You started this so finish it.” You looked at me with those intense eyes and said, “Okay…let’s go to practice. I will continue to play.” You cannot imagine how proud of you I was on that cold rainy evening. So proud! 

Judah Mordecai, always remember that when no one is looking your shadow is lurking behind you ready to help you make the RIGHT decision or your reflection is glowing and asking you to RETHINK your decision. 

While you are thinking…think about another name I encouraged you to repeat after me, Muhammad Ali. There he is…in the picture below with you and your reflection. He won, Judah Mordecai…You CONTINUE to do the same! You are a winner! 

 

Love your Dad,

The Touch

Sentimental Mood in the AM

 

The Toucher is in a sentimental mood this morning. Not a sad mood but a mood of prideful recollection...The accompanying picture solidified the moment. I was tying my favorite tie...attaching it to my Breast Cancer Month pink shirt...and positioning the tie inline with my cherished lapel pin (Peace Corps). I thought about one of my mentor's, Marc Goodman. He taught me how to tie a tie. Then I thought about big bruh, Richard Flippin. He made certain that I stood up straight! Memories of men stepping in when father WAS (no longer) occupied by a powerful force.  

 

We should pay Homage to those who help YOU pave the way!

Respect, Flip and Goodman!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCQfTNOC5aE