Tuesday, April 7, 2015

The Message in Occurrence

The universe works in ways that man/woman will never understand until he/she begin to view life as a fragility…as if life is subject to termination at any time...as if the life you have is not for yourself. As I drove home I was thinking about life, and how I have been able to press on...live my life with humility smacking me in my face. Then out of nowhere I rode up on this (the attached photograph of the overturned sedan/below). Several of the people who had arrived on scene were hysterical while two men were trapped in the car. Some of the young men (teenagers) were trying to pull the men to safety without success (the car was smoking). Then it happened. My naturally made body chemical, adrenaline kicked in then I went into action without thinking. Not one hesitation thought surfaced. I was able to break a back window with a two by four - and with all my strength pull both men out of the vehicle. Guess what? This was the second time this week that I drove up on an overturned vehicle (the attached photograph of the overturned van/below). The first accident I did the same...I pulled two men out of an overturned vehicle. The message? Not sure what all this means - but I know one thing. I was supposed to be there. At both accidents.

Now, the task is to decode the message. I guess I could make one up...one to suit my egotistical desire. Here lies the dilemma with "messages" – no one really knows the purpose of occurring events in our lives. No one knows why I encountered the accidents. Perhaps it is coincidence? Is there a divine message from God? Is God trying to tell or show me something? Ultimately, I will end up putting purpose to the random accounts. It will be ME who will give significance to occurrences that could have been more tragic. What I will not do is declare that I am 'blessed'...like a bystander told me last night. "You are blessed. God has his hands on you.”

I dislike when people say that in any capacity. What makes me more blessed than others?


I could have been born in a poor village in Africa where there is limited hope of ever leaving the village. Me blessed?  And, the millions of humans stuck in horrible conditions around the world are not blessed? What makes me so special...other than being born in a community in the United States of America?

Just thinking out loud. Just glad I was present at both wrecks. Just thankful I did not freeze up. Just thankful I had enough guts to put my life in jeopardy so that others would be helped and/or saved.

Trying Touch You 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day For Some


Mother’s Day for some is just another day…a day that does not have any significance whatsoever. For some it has the same effect as Christmas Day does for a Jehovah’s Witness: not respected…unacknowledged. The day no matter what date it falls on in spring’s most pollen-heavy month carries no emotional connotation or feelings of gratitude for some. Surprisingly, for some men and women Mother’s Day is the most inconsequential day of the 365 days.

When I became aware of this, when I discovered that a number of mothers are not praised on Mother’s Day, when I witnessed this disturbing attitude primarily from females - and then finally believing that this disposition is a reality I still had difficulty understanding that someone’s Mother’s Day sentiment was completely different from my romanticized feelings of the day Mothers are to be recognized for not only birthing and rearing children – but for the vast sacrifices that are made to be a Mom. Right?

My experience with Mother’s Day and my devoted connection to my mother conjure thoughts of appreciation, honor and respect. My mother is the best mom! I am certain thousands have the same opinion of their mother. So, I am in good company…I am amongst a large group that anticipates Mother’s Day. Thankfully, I am not in the midst of too many unfortunates who harbor unpleasant thoughts of a MMIA, Mother Missing in Action. Actually, how does MMIA become a truth? 

Sadly, over the years I have been associated with women who don’t know their mother: “I have no idea who she is…I have never met her.” Regrettably, I have been involved with women who have not spoken to their mother for a while: “I am not sure when the last time I spoke to her. It may have been 3 years now. Not sure. Doesn’t matter anyway.” 

Unfortunately, I have unknowingly been in serious relationship with women who later informed me that their mother abandoned them when they were a child: “One morning my siblings and I woke-up to no mother. She left us for about a year on two different occasions.” Disappointingly, I have been by default an unlicensed counselor for several women who have horrible mother to daughter communications: “I don’t like to talk to her…we are estranged.” 

In all the relationships described above there was/is significant conflict; that's apparent. There were also serious complications between the females and myself. Needless to say, the dealingsconnections were severed once I was informed by the female that her mother to daughter…parent to child association was in a deflated state or was non-existence. I eventually bounced…left the relationship with this thought process in mind:

Any girl/woman who has a volatile relationship with her mother is not a good match for me or any man who has a good relationship with his mother. This female has serious issues…she’s damaged. 

What was I to think/believe considering my mother and I have evolved from parent to child to confidants? Without fail or delay, we talk every morning! Of course, we had our share of conflicts when I was of middle and high school age. That was to be expected. But, there was nothing beyond this type of hormonal-laden tiffs…I bucked-up at mom occasionally, and then coward-down repeatedly when she slapped me across my big head. It was that simple. Nothing more, nothing less. She’s my mother! 

Who in their right mind curses…disrespects…demeans…embarrasses…talks down to their mother? I cannot comprehend this modus operandi. What I do know is that there has to be some form of healing. Forgiveness must be considered, and later put into practice. There has to be a meeting…a series of conversations that project genuineness. Then mom has to be acknowledged as the Giver of Life. 

Besides, who wants to leave this earth without rekindling, reconciling with Mom? 

If you are the child without warm thoughts of mom on this glorious Mother’s Day you are not at peace. No matter the situation…no matter what was said in argument…regardless of your discontent with mom you need to be healed. Take the first step. Be not one of the For Some

Trying to Touch

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Have you ever been completely tired of hearing/reading words of encouragement? Encouragement that's given/shared by others when you are in an unwanted predicament...encouragement that's meant to be caring...encouragement that's obviously sincere...encouragement that's so repetitive that you are wondering why in the hell you are still in the unwanted place of emotional, financial and employment discomfort? It makes you question what you are doing wrong...have done wrong considering your life has been in a rumble for more than a year. For some it makes them question if God's test or plan is really real - and for others they don't believe that God is in the testing business (I definitely don't believe the latter). The waiting on a change or a different result is the hardest part especially when all your efforts have been unsuccessful...or not enough. All of this turmoil weighs on you. It forces some to complete destruction: drug abuse, spousal emotional and physical abuse, complacency, thoughts of fleeing, over/under eating, unusual mood swings, indiscriminate sex, uncontrollable anxiety, harmful behavior that's not apart of your daily activity...there is so much many of us think when we continue to receive Words of Encouragement. Nothing changes for the individual - but the encouragement remains. I guess that's human nature...to care...people actually caring. The funny thing about caring...it is useless to the person who has been beaten...defeated by life's changes. Useless, in the sense that caring is not what the defeated person possesses anymore.

So tired of the caption in the attached photo...so tired!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Trading Places with Love

It is so hard -actually it is traumatic- to watch someone that you love waste away especially when you know without a doubt that you would be wasting away too if you would have responded to that shared pain with an inch of weakness. Which means that you are a viable candidate for the suffering that the love one is trying to fight off...which means you are in a position to help! Back to that Love: The love is so strong that you are willing to trade places with the love one...thinking/believing that you can endure the pain that they are suffering from - and when you are better...when you are recovered Trading Places will be in order again...you will pass on the baton hoping that your renewed strength will be everlasting for the special Love One. Please remember that many of us are a foot step away from addiction, insanity, suicide, homelessness, financial loss, foreclosure, eviction, disease. Thus, we are Candidates for Trading Places!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Documentation of Life

When you give a person what they have been wanting for The Longest Time you become an agent of change in the life of that person who probably has attempted to satisfy that 'want' for The Longest Time.

Time in fact is a change agent. All it takes for change to occur is the ticking of a watch...the ticking symbolizes waiting....Waiting for The Change to Come. For me within one aspect of my life I have been successful at aiding in a life change for a friend...a true friend…I am extremely thankful for the opportunity.

She has no idea how much her approval of me has benefited my life. She has no idea what she has given me. Like most life events and attempts, the road has been filled with stress, disappointment and finally now, Joy.

There are numerous gifts that we can give someone. What I have noticed over the past two years is how simple it is to give a gift. A smile, a hug, a touch, a word of support. All are necessary for humans. We need this type of attention so that we will be complete…Whole. We also need this devotion to survive…to live within the context of a Good Life. We need it so we can repeat over and over again, ‘Life is Good’.

It definitely has the potential to be Good when we take the time to Give to one another. Not solely during the Christmas, Kwanza, and including Birthday Seasons – but each day that we awake to face another opportunity to get it Right. These are the opportunities that mold and define us. We need satisfying existence and we certainly need adversity…we need tough times.

We are enhanced people when we ‘go through the storm’ especially when the storm is lengthy. Anyone of you reading can make it through a brief, not so challenging period of hardship. We are human beings that claim to be God’s creations. We say we are Believers, and Faith Walkers…

If we are of God we should be prepared for lasting (some refer to it as long-suffering) circumstances that promote personality change and psyche adjustment. We must endure so that we will continue to Live after we Die. Death is a guarantee…no one can defy it. Death is our final journal entry…it is our Documentation of Life.

I want to believe that my life has been a journey of smooth and rocky roads that have defined me for not only myself – but for the world…for anyone who has taken Time to engage me in friendship and in intimate relationship. So many of you have been in my corner. You have not given up on me when I repeatedly claimed that I have had enough…Enough with my present reality which is completely different from what I molded over the years. You have encouraged me. You have challenged me. You have supported me e.g. emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I am the beneficiary of a dynamic group of remarkable friends and a loving family.

So…I will not quit. I will push on. I will be what my mother proclaimed that I would NOT be, a quitter. I will be what I was created to be, a man that has no room in his life for ‘Long-suffering’. A man who loves life so much that he is always in the graceful and humble mode of Giving Life.

I prefer not to die…but like all of us I will. In my moment of death, I will be praying that I have been a Change Agent for at least one individual.

Enjoy 2013!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

In the Midst of Mistake…Construct

There is no reason for us to be preoccupied with what people are going to think/will think considering most lives are emotionally and spiritually embattled and are frequently plagued by Mistake.

We (humans) are subject to constructing a decision that will challenge us to either rectify our lives or permanently live with what we have created which more than likely is a result of living in a world that tempts man and woman.

Some of the temptations that we face can easily be denied - but there are some enticements that we as humans have not refused or rebuked: 

Many of us have lived lives that are full of mistake - and filled with Falling because of decisions that are plagued by our envy, lust, pride, anger, greed, sloth, and gluttony.

We are a fleshy people that respond to what makes us feel good. And, we have to admit that feeling good is a persistent yearning that gives Life and encourages man/woman to live without inhibition…to be 

We are here to live...to multiply...to advance...to conqueror...to move ahead and move on without a price tag! That movement is forward, not backwards.

So, why not enjoy life with a Mistake? Why not seize each and every opportunity to achieve and fail for your future?

The faster we fail, the more we gain and learn. Let's learn from Mistake - and honor Mistake for what it is:


Living as if your life is one big mistake!

Ultimately, we must be what and who we are while making Mistakes. That who you are - is waiting on you and I to be fully IN-vested in how we Respond.

I am responding - and I don't give a damn what will be said about my decisions.

Be of good cheer and spirit in the midst of Mistake.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Paths Do Not Cross Paths Meet

I needed to read this today (link below). Remarkable. It is amazing how paths DO NOT CROSS they MEET. To cross indicates ‘a pass by’…Dr. Durley’s CONTINUED path moved him in the direction of service, and now he serves as a beacon of motivation. Thank you, Dr. Durley.

Wish more African Americans would embrace the value of living and working overseas. The Peace Corps is a DYNAMIC opportunity. I ask myself all the time, 'Who in their right mind would pass up a FREE opportunity?' Is that person you...? If it is you are missing out on meeting -not passing- up with a path that will not only change your life - but the lives of others. Of course, it is a big step to take...joining the Peace Corps, I realize that. It has been the most important step that I have every taken. Would not trade it for anything! And, if Peace Corps is not right for you or you are not in the 'right' place now - contribute to the betterment of humanity in some form...PLEASE.

The World Needs You!