Sunday, July 26, 2009

“This apple is rotten just like you are.” –DL Hughley’s Mother

*Please watch the video prior to reading. I was touched!

http://www.youtube.com/user/PoliticsNewsPolitics#play/all/uploads-all/0/5sb4aiRGx50

We need to be careful what we say to our children. Just recently while riding Marta I overheard a black mother tell her active toddler, “Sit your wild black ass down, Nigga. You are so damn bad. Get on my nerves. Dang!”

Before anyone says, ‘She may have had a bad day.’ I must respond with, before thinking to be nice or politically correct, “I don’t give a damn about her day. That is her child!”

DL Hughley’s mother, in this case, may not have ‘meant’ what she said – but the affects of her statement to him evidently affected him. He did mention it later to his teacher which proves that our minds latch onto hurtful words. Does not matter the intent.

Last week I spent so much time discussing racism, and how it has damaged the psyche of the American people. Both, black and white Americans. After watching DL cry I shifted my thought process in an effort to not change my opinions and beliefs – but to address my people’s role in damaging the self concepts of so many black boys and girls. I did a mind reverse to reflect on what was said to me during my adolescent years: “You ain’t gonna be sh*t because your daddy ain’t sh*t.” Thankfully, no family member has ever said that to me. No, it was people who knew my sad case for a father, JW Taylor. I guess their thought process was, ‘Daddy no good. Son no good.’

Speaking of ‘Good’.

I would like to share with those who assist me in my therapeutic process (you) the following:

Mrs. Donoughe: My high school librarian wanted me to be successful. Her first step to assist was to make sure I scored high on the SAT. During my senior year, she decided to purchase the SAT study guide and video for me. She even asked my PE teacher to grant me absences for 6 weeks. So, I was off to studying. Guess it did not help much because I still scored a 550 on the culturally biased and systematically unfair test.

Mr. Allred: My high school principal knew if he suspended me for punching a white classmate in the mouth after he disrespected my mother that I would be barred from participating in the scheduled state championship track and field meet. So, my mandatory suspension was changed to in-school suspension. This act secured my participation in the meet. Guess what? I ran a h*ll of a race – but was disqualified for some bull crap (accused of getting unfair leverage to clear the hurdles).

Mr. Stevenson: The first man to trust me with employment kept me on the payroll while I was at college studying/running; and paid me for 40 hours per week. A weekly check for not working: $200. When I came home for breaks he let me work like I was a regular day-to-day employee. This way I could earn some money to take back to High Point University (only 8 miles away from my home). He also purchased my books for me every semester. Recently, I totaled the cost of the books: 10 semesters – approximate cost of the books each semester: $300. I never went without those useless books because he gave me $3000 over a span of 5 years; and more for ‘working’ as a bag boy.

Coach Bob Davidson: One of the first men to care enough about my early battles with personal responsibility decided one day to discipline me because I told him, “I am not running the 400 meter hurdles anymore. That event is too hard.” His response: “Well, don’t then – but you will lose your scholarship. Then you will be going back to Thomasville with your head in you’re butt.” I ran them, and later became a 3 time All-American 400 meter hurdler as a result and was also invited to the 1991 Olympic Track and Field Trials for that “too hard” event.

Mr. Jim Scanlon: Was generous enough to let me live in his home for 8 weeks free of charge. I did not even pay for my food, nor did I have to cook - and I had my own space. Thanks to him, his marvelous wife (Chris), and Sam (Dog), my transition to one of my favorite places on earth and a place I should have NEVER left (Washington, DC) was a little less stressful.

Why did I share these acts of HUMANISTIC kindness with you?

When I watch that white man sitting beside DL Hughely I think: ‘He did not allow his country’s racist present and past to hinder him from mentoring a black gang banger.

When I think about the destruction that we (black people) inflict on each other I think: ‘We continue to be our BIGGEST obstacle…too.

By the way, the men and women I mentioned are WHITE.

Written by Brian E. Payne. Inspired by something L. Scott said.